I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Randomize
