I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
You have to summon your inner elephant
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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