Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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