The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
