i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
