happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
