ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
