Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I'm sobbing to NWA
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Randomize
