Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
