Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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