It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
