Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
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