I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
