I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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