Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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