Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Randomize
