When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
