is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
