I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
