Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
