I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
