He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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