i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
