he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
We need to feng shui this bitch.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
