he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
