it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I need a beard to bite.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
