I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
