I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Randomize
