Me too!
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
