i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
