After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
