I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Randomize
