You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
