just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Randomize
