they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
