I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Randomize
