Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
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