I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
