Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
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