you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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