You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
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