Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
Randomize
