that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
