I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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