If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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