I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
