he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
