Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
