i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
