She's JV to your varsity
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
