Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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