i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
