i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
