Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
