i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
