normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
